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Liberals Hurt People: Especially Cool Ones Like Me

2005-11-12T16:03:00.000-08:00

I intimidate people, I'm a 12 ft tall vicious monster with fangs dripping the blood of penguins and other endangered animals that will do anything to um.... save unborn baby's lives and make sure that everyone isn't taxed to death so they can watch their money being given away to small animals in Ethiopia or to trees in Southern Africa or some crap like that. If that didn't make sense to you, then you're not alone.

Just because a Republican doesn't go out and do countless volunteer projects and giving up their kid's Christmas presents to feed, clothe, and house the homeless doesn't make us horrible people. As a matter of fact, I think it's better that some people try learn how to take care of themselves rather than live off of handoffs from the bleeding heart losers with the Kerry/Edwards, Save the Whales, Free Tibet, and Bush Lied People Died Stickers on the back of their hybrid cars that run on electricity from a million compressed solar panels on the tops of their cars, and an alternate form of fuel that is made from the blood of innocent unborn fetuses, because if your parents don't even love you why not make you useful.

Now I l'd love to think that the world is a happy place and that money can solve everything. But it can't, so getting back to reality: Money doesn't solve everything because some people don't know how to use it. The reason there are poor people is because someone along the chain of money flow decided to buy the $5,000 plasma TV rather than saving it to put his kids through college, thus creating a college graduate who can create a business that can make a LOT of jobs. But no, he decides to get the TV so instead, he creates an ADHD child that can't read, can't write, and grows up beating other kids up because they don't look, act, talk, think, and breathe like him and let him do whatever he wants to do. This child grows up to flip my burgers, bag my groceries (Thank you Maddox), punch my purchase into the cash register at Wal-Mart, stock shelves with my panty hose at Target, and wipe my kids' snotty noses at his mother's home-based daycare. Or in the most likely case, he turns out to be the homeless guy you see on the street that say: "Family in crisis, anything will help," or "My wife needs surgery, please help" or my personal favorite "Need brain enhancing drugs, help a homey out."

Now I'm not a completely heartless bastard... wait, yes I am. It's your fault you're poor. Get over it.

Don't You Hate Blog Advertisers? I Sure Do!

2005-10-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

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Here are my ideas: DELETE

Here are my comments: DELETED! BOOYA!

Here are my thoughts: Friggin' hell no.

Here's the only answer I'll ever need: Go Die

I bet you're not loving my blog now, huh?

(e-mail address omited so you don't send her hate mail for me ^.^..... I need a disclaimer xD)

Why English Classes in College Aren't Worth Your Time and More Importantly: Your Money

2005-10-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are still in the happy years of public high school education English classes thinking: When am I ever going to use this in everyday life after school? My answer my friend, is never. Only if you wish to be a world famous journalist or the author of a world-wide bestseller will you ever need to know anything about the specific grammar setup of the English language. Right now I'm using commas when I feel like it, I never compound my sentences enough to need semi-colons and you understand me right? That's all that matters to me. If I get my point across and everything is spelled somewhat decently so that I don't get stupid liberals telling me that I spelled a stupid word wrong then I could care less about transitional phrases or the independent/dependent clauses or even ending a sentence with a transition. However I understand that writing a letter of application to a potential boss is a big deal, that's why God and the awesome people at McGraw-Hill publishing company created handbooks that cost a whole ten bucks that shows all of the MLA and APA standards for business letters and formal essays. A simple glance is all it takes to get the structure of it right, and maybe you need a dictionary or a thesaurus every now and then but that's okay, because it's the first impression that your boss is going to get of you so it's okay to cheat a little if you don't have the confidence in your writing skills. Your boss won't care if you didn't realize that you have to put a comma Before and After that transition, all he'll care about is that your structure looks good, you covered the material that he/she needed to know and that you didn't misspell a million words and a half trying to sound like you are a "Collage student frm YaLe th4t haz a prblm w/tha fnction ov teh kibord." My handbook that I keep handy when writing all of my essays has been more of a help to me than nearly THIRTEEN years of schooling. After about 10th grade English you realize that you've covered everything there is to know about the English language and that there's really no point in doing anything anymore. Which is why, at about 11th grade they start introducing plays and American/Enlish literature to keep you occupied rather than jumping all over you for sentence structure and grammar work. However, if you were the unlucky person who got roped into going to a local community college *cough*cough* then you realize that there's a kind of relapse. Like the teachers all of the sudden think that you have no brain and you need to repeat four years of high school over and over again until you find yourself playing mini-golf on your cell phone for TWO HOURS *cough*cough*. I was the insanely intelligent person who managed to test out of both English, and math classes, because I'm just that damn smart. However the liberals are holding me back and I have to take the highest level of English that they offer. Which needless to say is the most unproductive, boring, useless class I have ever been in. My 9th grade Earth Science teacher was blonde and ADHD and she knew more about the English language than the weirdo that teaches my English class at the community college. It's supposed to be a research class, which one would think that she'd assign essays every chance she got and make us do countless hours of reading to pull information about historical happenings in the U.S. and around the world about our topics that we choose or that are assigned to us... but no such luck. I get stuck with a middle aged woman who wears clothes that are too tight for her, and who wears glasses that could burn a hole through her brain if it wasn't wrapped so tightly in the tin foil hat that she wears. She's insanely stupid. We've spent nearly the first 12 weeks of an 18 week class doing nothing but going over sentence structure, grammar, and those Goddamn quotes. I have more handouts on quotes from that teacher than I ever got from TWELVE years of school collectively. You're probably like: "Yeah? So what? If you need it you need it and if she says you need it then you definitely need it right?" Wrong. I've spoken with other students in the same class as myself and they've all said something to the effect that if they get another quotes workpacket to do they'll burn her office down and dance on her grave as they burn the packet in a satanic ritual to bind her soul to a piece of blackboard chalk no bigger than a child's fingernail, and when I say a child's fingernail, I mean a shrew baby's fingernail. That bitch. *Cough*, anyway, my class cost me somewhere around 381 dollars and some odd cents NOT including the huge amount of books she made us get, and I'm not getting my money's worth. If you have any kind of sense or maybe parents that actually care about your education then don't go to a local community college because it's cheaper. It's not that much cheaper and the education offered is hardly worth what little money you saved. Take my advice and get a damn good scholarship and go to the most expensive damn university or four year college you can get into and make the best of it. Community college just sucks.

Cutting Down Trees: Why It's Better Than Burning To Death In Your Sleep.

2005-10-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

You know all of those wildfires down in Arizona and Utah and some other such democratic states? Well I know what they're caused by and it's not because of Nuclear Waste dump sites either Mr. Green Peace McGee. It's actually caused by the over abundance of trees because those friggin' liberals keep planting more goddamn trees. You can't fix the ozone by making more trees idiots! It actually does more harm than good to over populate the forests that way. This is because with all of those trees packed together the trees can't get the sufficient amount of water from the soil. This leads to a lot of dead, dry trees and leaves on the ground. This means that if something as small as a cigarrete butt, a drop of dew that escaped evaporation, or a piece of glass that magnifies the suns rays can start a wildfire in little to no time at all. Then with all of these trees packed together the whole forest just goes up like a rice paper shed in an action movie starring Sean Connery as Jesus Christ and Will Farrel as Superman locked in a never-ending battle to the death.

The average Green Peace Pussy would then say: "Then we should reduce pollution and littering of our tree-friends homes!" At which point Jesus, (Sean Connery) summons a massive hurricane to kill him and all of the trees. Then wait! Lo and behold Jesus takes off his mask and it is George W. Bush! Superman stops in midair and explodes when he makes eye contact with the mighty warrior that is the Honorable Mr. George Dubya Bush. Hehe... sorry about that... more serious posts later... if you're lucky ^_^'

"...If the Pumps Had Been Manned My House Would Still Be Here Today..." - Crazy Lady from NBC News at Ten

2005-10-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

Now that the failure of the levvees in N.O. are old news the libs have decided to start picking on the pump operators that decided their lives were more important to them than some rich white woman's beach house, and rightly so. Here's a little background for you: The pumps can only handle approximately 1000-1500 gallons of water per second. With the water coming in as fast as it was (at about 5000 gallons of water per second within the first few minutes of the levvee break) the pumps wouldn't have been able to handle it even with the workers there. Besides, with the levvees broken where would the water go? IN CIRCLES. It would only end up in N.O. anyway! Why are you people so stupid! With nothing to keep the water out then there's nothing to keep the water that you send back out from coming back in! This is plain old common sense people! *Cough* Anyway, more on your stupidity in later posts.

How did people expect the levvees to work anyway? If the water got over the levvee, which it would have eventually if they hadn't broken, then the water would be in N.O. anyway, and you'd all still be whining about some stupid government problem and FEMA this and FEMA that. SUCK IT UP. North Carolina and Florida have more hurricanes per year than you do per decade, and you don't hear us whining about stupid government problems and how President Bush hates us. This is because of Florida and N.C.'s higher stock intelligence than all of Louisiana. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were no better than the French... oh wait... Louisiana Purchase... from the French... well I'll be damned... So you ARE a bunch of pussies! Well, that settles that, I don't need to fight with you, I just need to mention nuclear weapons and America vs. France and you'll all shut up. ^.^ I'm so cool. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go eat some freedom fries and wash it down with a mug of hot glory.

Tired of Sheehan

2005-09-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Al Zindhee Muhammed Zhee-hann is still on her rally; unfortunately. She recently made a stop in Arizona to see Senator McCain, a Republican senator of course. This is of so little improtance that even the Libs have stopped talking about her. She shows up at rallies and leaves after ten minutes. Her friends say "she's tired, but she's going to stick to her obligations." Obligations? Come on now. I thought that rallying to stop the war that killed your eldest son would be top priority, not an obligation that you'd gotten yourself into and don't want to do anymore. Unless of course you were doing it for the fame. *Shrug* Whatever. As long as she's not showing her teary eyed face on TV anymore I could care less except one thing... I don't have anyone to laugh at anymore. The news is kind of dead, talking about how Magi Bush created the Hurricanes Rita and Katrina by not signing a piece of paper that China and Japan didn't sign either. Who cares? I feel sorry for the people in the Gulf Coast region and all but this is something we have to help with, not something we can use as a bloody mark to put on Bush's forehead because he just happens to be president at the time. Seriously.

Why Do Gasoline Companies Hate Libs?

2005-09-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

It's a very well known fact that gasoline companies hate Liberals. Even the gasoline companies admit this openly to this as one representative of Kwick Stop demonstrates, "Oh yeah, I most definitely hate those bleeding heart liberals, they can't keep their mouths shut, so we raise prices almost constantly here in Minnesota every time we see a lib going down the street in his Lexus. Haha!" Now, the average Liberal doesn't think gas companies hate them, because with their lack to listen to hard facts and analytical reasoning, they're just not capable of understanding this notion. The average Lilly-livered-and-unfortunately-living-liberal believes that since we get our refined gasoline from Canada, that the prices of gasoline in Minnesota shouldn't be going up because of Katrina and Rita (If you haven't been paying attention: Katrina and Rita are two hurricanes that have devasted the Gulf Coast Region. TRANSLATION FOR LIBS: President Bush's anger towards poor black people and hispanics [who obviously vote to the left] manifested into two large storms.) Now it's time for class. Economics class to be exact. Now, I'm hardly an expert on economics, I haven't even taken a class, but pure common sense and business reasoning gives me this explanation. The Hurricanes in the GC region have destroyed homes, recreational parks and play grounds, and guess what? Businesses. Gasoline companies, as well as paper companies, medical companies and whatever the hell else companies have lost billions of dollars and still are because of the hurricanes. Their millions of locations have been destroyed and they don't have outlets for the gasoline or inlets for the cash. This means they have to make up the slack by making what stores they have left charge more for what product they have. TRANSLATION FOR LIBS: You're stupid. I'm right. Bow down to me.

Now, what about the gasoline from Canada huh? Huh?! I know you're going to ask so here's my on the spot explanation that practically overflows with common sense and economical reason: GAS ISN'T MADE IN CANADA. Where does Canada get the oil to refine it into gas? They get it from the same place we in the U.S. do. Texas, Middle East, out in the Ocean, and anywhere else they've discovered oil (except Alaska because the Penguins are right mean they are). In some cases it costs less to send the oil to a different part of the world to refine it, and then buy it back to ship all over the United States. Refining of oil is very expensive, so is extracting it. So here's a little map here for you. I'm going to use BP/Amaco as an example: BP gets their oil mainly from North American sources, they pride themselves on being an "American Company". This gasoline may have started in Texas or some other hole in the ground, BUT it didn't go straight from the ground to your local gas station. There's all kinds of things you can get from oil. This is where diesel fuel comes from and ethanol as well. Gasoline used to be a waste product that no one could use for anything until a genius came along and invented the first car that was made specifically to use this waste product and create a profit. This is where refining comes in. You have to go through a long tedious system of boiling stuff before you can get all of the end products from oil, and doing this with such large quantaties of oil is very expensive. But as I mentioned earlier, we in the U.S. can ship this stuff to Canada and take advantage of their low-price everything and buy it back for less than we would have had to pay to refine it ourselves and then ship it away to gas companies. The reason we get gas from Canada and still feel the effects of Katrina and Rita has NOTHING to do with PRICE GOUGING.

Lesson Two: Price Gouging doesn't exist. It's not price gouging until the average person can't afford to buy gasoline seven or eight days out of the month. It's not price gouging until people stop driving cars altogether. In which case the companies start losing money and drop prices, so in a way 'price gouging' is good and helps the economy. Score: Liz: 100,000 Libs: -999,999,999,999

ADHD And Why Your Parents Hate You

2005-09-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

Anybody who medicates their child for ADHD before the age of six should be thrown in jail for destroying a human being's quality of life. Drugs like Ritilin and Zoloft, often given to children diagnosed with ADHD/ADD (Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder), Bi-polar Disorder and, Depression are not scientifically proven to actually work to reduce stress, relieve depression, or make someone pay more attention in class. These drugs merely speed up the system of a Depressed person and slow down the system of a hyperactive child. The exact effects of cocaine or marijuana. The drugged high that these drugs put children in have affects on children that is being studied all over the world. Some end up with severe learning problems, anger problems, severe depression, and are more often than not chemically dependant on the drugs that they were forced to take as a child. ADHD/ADD do not exist, at least not in the way everyone thinks it does. It's a scientific name that's been slapped across the forehead of children that are acting like children. Does your three year old ask questions that don't seem to have meaning in the situation? Does little Johnny push down Kara after you repeatedly tell him not to? Spank him, HE'S A THREE YEAR OLD. Pain is a necessary step in the development of a child. They learn best that pushing their younger siblings down and making them cry is not something they want to do because they know daddy will whip out the old paddle and make them regret it. Scientists have done countless experiments with insects, wherein they place them in a container with two ways out. One way is through a tube with a special pheramone that attracts the bugs to go that way and a nasty little electric current. The other tube was just to another container just like the one they left. The bugs all instantly went for the tube with the pheramone of course, so they consequently got a nasty little shock. The next time they tried this, they still ran for the sweet smelling tube, and got shocked. The next time they tried this... viola! A majority of them learned that the sweet smelling stuff=BAD. So they ran to the other tube to escape the pain of being shocked. After a few more tests like this %100 ran to the other container, none of them wanted to be shocked and all of them preferred to be huddled together in a container rather than smell the sweet pheramone at the cost of a few seconds of pain. Children are the same way. You don't even need to spank them sometimes, if little Johnny looks like he's going to push Kara over for accidentally knocking over one of his block-towers you can just pull out the ol' paddle and stand threateningly over him and watch him squirm and plead for you not to hurt him. It's beautiful, respect for order and dicipline displayed right before your feet.

The average ADHD child lives in a home with one parent, who doesn't have time to spend with them. So the child is carted off to daycare, where there is no one to give special attention to the child. However there are children that live in a low-income family with both parents present that just don't give a damn how he/she does in school or acts around their elders or other authority figures. These children often end up with anger control problems because they think they can do whatever they want and not get punished for it. But when someone begs to differ they get violent to make them see that their way is the right way. When this occurs in a child teachers and the parents of fellow students will complain. This complaining is usually the only thing that gets the parents to do anything about their child's behavior. Unfortunately the most common action is to take the child to a psychiatrist and get the child diagnosed for ADHD so they can get depressants like Ritilin and Zoloft to make the child shut up and sit still. These drugs are surprisingly low cost, some of them are over-the-counter medicines under a different name, and in a high enough dosage can kill a Giraffe... literally. How are these drugs allowed to be perscribed to children you ask? They're not... pediatric psychiatrists aren't supposed to perscribe Ritilin, Zoloft, or behevior altering medications to children under the age of six. The main reason is because there's no scientific proof *anywhere* that these drugs actually work. Another reason is that these drugs have a huge affect on children's brain functions and learning abilities. Ritilin is known for putting the child in a drugged high that may make them more prone to pay attention to class and do as they are told. But what people don't know or care to know is that the reason the kid is doing as you tell them is because they're too damn tired to argue. Once they are off of their medication for more than a day or two they realize that they'd much rather be off of them and be able to *remember* what they did the day before. There are severe memory problems and development problems coupled with these drugs that no one cares to notify parents about because as long as the kid's quiet no one cares.

Some of the top pediatric psychiatrists refuse to diagnose children with ADHD under the age of six, because they know if the parents hear ADHD the scramble for behavior altering drugs ensues. These same ped. psy. write articles in magazines like 'Health' and 'Parenting' with steps that parents can take to avoid having to drug their children. Words like discipline, structure and patience are a common appearance in these articles... all things that the average ADHD child's home lacks. But the parents aren't the only people to blame... the average teacher that encounters an ADHD child would rather ignore the child and punish him or her for doing something and complain about it later to the parents and other administration. Psychiatrists often see the symptoms of a hyperactive three year old and respond by pulling out the perscription book to make sure little Johnny doesn't come back to ruin his office again. This kind of thing has ruined a lot of potentially brilliant minds in our society. Einstein had dyslexia, if he had been medicated at childhood for this like children today he would have ended up like a zombie child, nodding to a teacher's lecture, never actually being able to remember anything, bursting out in rage when his medications wore off, and going out in the middle of the night to get high with his friends on drugs. If I had been medicated for depression I'd be one of those goth kids you see in the hallways at school, hanging out with all of my other loser friends talking about how many times I got stoned over the weekend, or how many times my boyfriend screwed me brainless. But I'm not... my family has always been strict with that kind of stupid behavior and I was whipped good whenever I did something they didn't like. I had a paddle with my name on it that my father put on a hook in the entrance hallway. Being a middle child my other sibling's paddles were on either side. Michelle and David had their own little paddle that was all their own in plain site daring us to do something stupid. Needless to say we were very well behaved kids for our age. We only ever got spanked for little things like making a mess in the kitchen and blaming it on one of the other kids. Michelle got a spanking for slamming the door in my face a few times. Another thing I've noticed is that, around the age of 12 or 13, if you get a spanking it doesn't really ever hurt. It's just humiliating, and that's how it's supposed to be. You have to feel embarassed or really hurt to learn anything. You don't want to slam the door in your younger sister's face if your dad is going to drag you out in the front yard and spank you in front of your neighbors now do you? Didn't think so. Children have to learn a respect for order and authority or they won't respect people like the police, or rules like... I don't know.. lets say.... the Law? The Constitution maybe? Or how about the general morals that everyday people live by? Like don't kill people, or don't key someone's car because you're bored. Do your part for society and beat your kids if they're stupid... it takes little effort and if you're lucky they'll learn from it and end up smarter than you one day.

CNN and Intelligence in the same sentence?! WHERE?!

2005-09-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

I suggest anyone who has an objection to the title of this post turn on your TV and flip to CNN *Right Now*. Now, if someone says: "We're having a few audio/visual problems, so we're going to move on to Mr./Mrs. Such-and-such who's in the such-and-such area..." then take a drink. If someone says anything negative about President Bush, take a drink.... now the first thing is enough to get you drunk within the first five minutes of watching. CNN has been having so many 'technical' difficulties it's hilarious. During the coverage of the Katrina disaster, when President Bush was explaining the difficuties of getting the National Guardsmen into New Orleans, instead of allowing the democratic citizens to listen to reason, the cameraman decides to have one of these 'technical' dificulties, and takes the opprotunity to go suck up to the female reporter, delicately wrapping his arm around her waist and talking animatedly, partially off screen of another camera that decided to have a similar 'technical difficulty' shortly afterwards.
Heehee, now for the fun stuff. Every time someone degrades President Bush in anyway, such as mentioning a certain bill or law that 'should' have been passed but wasn't, or maybe even being the more outward liberal media reporter and mentioning President Bush 'at all', then take 'half' a drink. Half a drink? Why, you ask? Well, being of the amazing intelligence I am, I realize that anyone who takes this little drinking game seriously would not have the body mass, or the tolerance to alcohol to take more than 10 minutes of watching CNN before passing out or dying due to alcohol poisoning. So I am merely delaying the inevitable, and being nice to your family who is going to have to bury you later. This is the last thing you have to drink to, if you can manage to get this far: Take a swig of the nearest bottle of alcohol if they accidentally get an interview of a person that actually supports Bush, then realize their mistake and cut him off in the middle of a sentence with an 'audio difficulty'. Now you can tell these are fake because everytime someone switches the sound off there's a loud click and only that person's microphone isn't working. The main anchor at the desk's microphone works just fine 24/7 no matter what. It seems someone missed the last episode of The Perfect Crime and forgot to switch *everybody's* microphone off to make it *really* look like a 'technical dificulty'.